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The Greatest McDonald’s Ad. EVER.

February 6, 2016

So I have an idea for the most controversial, yet awesome McDonald’s ad ever. In case that last sentence didn’t give you a heads up about what’s ahead, let me say this: THIS WILL BE OFFENSIVE AND RISQUE, IF THAT BOTHERS YOU, STOP READING. THANK YOU. 

 

It’s a series of black screens with white texts accompanied by a female moaning and groaning. The text reads as follows:

“McDonald’s has led overall in quality and sales in the past 5 years (that’s not true, 5 is an excellent number). Even our competitors agree with how awesome our product is. Don’t believe us? Fine. Ask the Wendy’s girl yourself.”

Then the camera pans to a naked Wendy’s Girl (ya know, that hot redhead from the commericals) getting pounded from behind. The camera pans out some more and you see Ronald McDonald in nothing but his red gloves and boots, just tapping her doggie style. He has one hand pulling her long red hair back and the other on her left hip. He’s got this blank stare, ala Nick Cage brutal fight/sex scene in Drive Angry.

He looks down at her and yells, “Oooh, take that Quarter Pounder you bitch!” and slaps her ass. She yells, “Oh yeah, I’m loving it, Ronald Baby! Get that Big Mac deep inside like how daddy puts his Baconator in my ass!” as Grimace stands in the corner and shouts out, “Yeah, Ronald! Pound that shit!” Ronald sings “Ronald’s in that ass” to the “I’m Lovin’ It” tune.

Then, Fry Gurl yells at Ronald to get the Money Shot ready as he puts the Wendy’s girl on her back and yells, “Let me make a Vanilla Milkshake to go with that Quarter Pounder!” as he starts shooting his jizz all over her face. “Oh yeah, gimme that McFlurry cum!” she screams as she licks it off.

The commercial ends with Hamburglar hi-fiving Ronald as the Wendy’s Girl looks into the camera and says, “Ummmm, now THAT’s better.” As the I’m loving it music plays followed by the McDonald’s logo.

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