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The Gospel of Magnum PR: Random Parody Songs

November 27, 2015

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away…I made some parody of hit songs. I have a few ideas of some new parodies, but I haven’t got around to them. So here is 3 of them for your enjoyment!

At Chuck’s- A Parody of 50 Cent’s In The Club about Charlie Bucket after the events of Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory

Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go Charlie
It’s your birthday
We gon’ party like it’s ya birthday
We gon’ sip Chocolate Bacardi like it’s ya birthday
And you know we don’t give a fuck
You own Wonka’s Factory!

[Chorus] (2x)
You can find me at Chuck’s, chugging chocolate rum
Chuck’s got everlasting X if you into taking drugs
I’m into fucking hot sluts, I ain’t into loving Oompa Loompas
So come eat some candy bars filled with pot if you into getting high

[Verse]
When I see C-Bucket, you see the Benz up and down the street
He used to be dirt poor, now he’s living fat at Wonka’s
Niggas heard I’m pals with Chuck, now they wanna show me love
When he sells more than Hersheys, the hoes they wanna fuck
But homes C-Bucket hasn’t changed, still the same since finding dat Gold ticket
I see Chuck at the factory making me some dope
If you watch how Chuck moves you’ll mistake him for a playa or pimp
Been hit wit a few shells but he don’t walk wit a limp
In the hood then the ladies saying “Chuck you hot”
They like me too, but I want them to love me like they love Chuck
But holla in London them niggas tell ya he’s pimp
And the plan is to put the candy game in a choke hold
He’s feelin’ focused man, his money on makin’ candy
He’s got a bill out the deal and he’s still pumpin’ candy
Now Charlie said she feeling my style, she feeling my flow
His hoes wanna get bi and they ready to go

[Chorus] (2x)

[Bridge]
Wanka’s crib, Wanka’s cocoa brought him the doe
That bought him all his fancy things
His crib, His cars, His pools, His jewels
Look nigga he’s got the world by his nuts and won’t change

[Verse]
And you should love it, way more then you hate it
Nigga you mad? I thought that you’d be happy he made it
He’s that mack daddy by the bar toasting to the good life
You that faggot ass nigga trying to pull him back right?
When my game gets to pumpin at Chuck’s my pimpin’s on
He wink his eye at ya bitch, if you smile he’ll share the wealth
If the roof on fire, the Oopma Loompas will take care of it
If you talking bout money homes, He ain’t concerned
Banks told him money last him for a long time so he’s spending his g’s on all the hoes
If the niggas hate then let ’em hate
Watch the money pile up with the candy roll off the shelves
We go on his patio wit a bottle of chocolate rum
You know where we fucking be

[Chorus] (2x)

[Talking]
(laughing) Don’t try to act like you ain’t know where we been either nigga
At Chuck’s all the time nigga, its about to pop off nigga
C-Bucket

Black People – A parody of Outkast’s Ms. Jackson (Update: This was written 15 years so I’m well aware there are Black Legos now)

Why couldn’t you make black people legos so all us niggas be happy, happy, happy, happy, so happy, happy

Yeah, goes like this y’all

Chorus:

I’m sorry black people [OOOH!]

I am for real

We could never make black lego guys

Cause the KKK runs this joint

I’m sorry black people [OOOH!]

I am for real

We could never make black lego guys

Cause the KKK runs this joint

We never got to be legos, but whites got to

They always get what they want but we are sick of the bullshit

There’s star wars legos but there’s no Lando

They have alien and robot legos, but no black legos

They would make Pokemon legos before they would make us

I always played with legos and dreamed of being a lego man

In the words of Martin Luther King, “I have a dream…”

“That one day we will be the coolest legos of them all”

All we ask is that you make us black people legos, that’s all we want

Cause you know the world isn’t full of white middle class people

We’re tired of being left out

Yes there was a black guy in Final Fantasy VII

But those two white boys kept stealing the show from the G

All we want is a little respect in da lego hood

I’m sorry black people [OOOH!]

I am for real

We could never make black lego guys

Cause the KKK runs this joint

I’m sorry black people [OOOH!]

I am for real

We could never make black lego guys

Cause the KKK runs this joint

All the black people

Want to see some black legos

You say it’s impossible

But we say it is

Hope there is some changes

Make us some legos

That aren’t whites or aliens

Cause you wont get away with the crap that you pulled

9 out of 10, the whites get their way

They have Chinese legos and Mexican legos

But don’t have any Muslim or black legos

I know we ask for a lot

But all we want is to have black legos for once and forever

Forever, forever, ever, forever, ever

You can’t have star wars legos without Lando

It’s like having the A-team without Mr.T

You got to have ethnicity in legos cause sales will go up

We black people would buy them a lot

Why don’t you guys make other lego people other than whites

Cause we are tired of being left out of it

Sure there is lots of us in basketball

It ain’t our fault white people cant jump

So just hurry up and make some black people legos and we’ll stop our bitchin

I’m sorry black people [OOOH!]

I am for real

We could never make black lego guys

Cause the KKK runs this joint

I’m sorry black people [OOOH!]

I am for real

We could never make black lego guys

Cause the KKK runs this joint

Yeah right G.

“You have been treating us like crap since the Civil War.”

Shit niggas, y’all been treating us bad since we were once slaves for you

All we want is a little respect make black legos and we’ll be happy

You always whine how y’all get bad treatment but y’all started it first

All you had to do was make black lego people and we would be happy

But you prick heads are all the same, self centered jackasses

And you say you changed even though you act the same

So stop your goddamn bitchin and make some god damn lego people

Black lego guys that is

I’m sorry black people [OOOH!]

I am for real

We could never make black lego guys

Cause the KKK runs this joint

I’m sorry black people [OOOH!]

I am for real

We could never make black lego guys

Cause the KKK runs this joint

I’m sorry black people [OOOH!]

I am for real

We could never make black lego guys

Cause the KKK runs this joint

I’m sorry black people [OOOH!]

I am for real

We could never make black lego guys

Cause the KKK runs this joint
Can’t Find My Dentures – Parody of The Rolling Stones’ No Satisfaction

 

Can’t find my dentures,

Weren’t in the bathroom..

’and I cried and I cried and I cried and I cried.

I can’t find my, can’t find my dentures.

 

I’m too old to play rock

Cause I wear depends now

Cause I have no control of my bladder

Gonna hang up my mic

Going to get my Social Security Checks.

I can’t find my, oh no no no.

Hey hey hey, that’s what I say.

 

Just wet my pants,

Cause I have no bladder control.

’and I cried and I cried and I cried and I cried.

I can’t find my, can’t find my dentures.

 

When I’m trying to eat oatmeal

It gets all over my shirt

Cause i have really big lips.

No one wants to see me in spandex

Cause old men in spandex is sick.

I can’t find my, oh no no no.

Hey hey hey, that’s what I say.

 

I made some Metamucil,

I got just normal flavor.

though there’s and Iced Tea and Smoothies and Lemonade.

I can’t find my, can’t find my dentures.

 

When I’m rocking in my chair

And I’m making booties for my 15 kids

Can get more tail in my age

Cause ladies like my big lips and heaps of cash

i’m pushing on seventy.

I can’t find my, oh no no no.

Hey hey hey, that’s what I say.

 

I can’t find my, can’t find my dentures.

can’t find my dentures,

No dentures, no dentures, no dentures

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